Alabama, Fudgsicles, and Many Unhappy Returns

The Eagles' Nest, The Women of the Rathskeller Inn

CHAPTER 15

(Please note this chapter describes an incident that may be controversial for some, but highly uncomfortable to others. The author was present and witnessed everything that occurred in the Diner.)

The Rathskeller had begun to have a life of its own, one filled with life, energy, song, and fun. But for me and my family, the summer of 1964 was the year of diminishing returns, when things had gone too far to ever be the same again. Like crossing an endless sea, there’s a point at which the nearest unknown shore is closer than what you left behind. That was where we found ourselves by July 1964, with no shore in sight and no going back. It was a dreadful summer, adrift in the hot and humid weather of the south, watching my parents’ marriage end. Our final days in Alabama destroyed any illusion that the two of them still had a chance. I was ten going on eleven, but even I was smart enough to know we were better off without him.

I had been primed for two years for our trip to Alabama by my aunt’s propensity to be cruel to others and even to members of our family. She had demonstrated all too often that another person could be cruel to others and possess a sadistic capacity to make others feel small and irrelevant. I did not know that an entire society could rationalize and normalize such behavior. The bigotry and intolerance we encountered in the South were a shock to both my mom and me. On the trip to Alabama in 1964, I would learn that my aunt’s disregard for another human being’s dignity had no borders.

Mom was determined to leave Coeur d’Alene in the aftermath of the lake cabin fire, whether she went North or South. While she would have preferred to divorce my dad and be with Al, she resigned herself to staying married to my dad “for the kids.” I was the kid, and I was thrilled. Dad was ambivalent. Mom was angry. My sister must have felt trapped. It would be quite the summer trip as we traversed multiple states on our way to Alabama. Our car was filled with four unhappy people and brewing emotions that stirred beneath frayed nerves.

Before we left, my cousin Cathi was desperate for us to stay. My mom was her safety net when aunt Lolly went off the rails and abused her. The thought of us living thousands of miles away terrified her. Before we left, she kept saying to me, repeatedly, “Aren’t you going to miss getting free sodas and bags of chips?” She hoped I would throw enough of a fit that mom would decide to stay in Coeur d’Alene. Once the decision to go to Alabama was reached, I suddenly became well-behaved and calm.

We may have been Cathi’s safe harbor, but dad was mine. He buffered the volatile nature of my relationship with my mom, which had developed over the two years we lived in the big house. He might have been stubborn and didn’t hesitate to set rules and boundaries with me, so I knew where I stood. It was a relief.

But Alabama didn’t turn out the way I hoped it would. It certainly did not turn out for mom. For all my tears and missing dad before the summer of 1964, I never missed him again after the end came. He hurt and betrayed mom, and then me. He didn’t want to have us around; he had been on his own for too long.

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PART ONE - Leaving Coeur d’Alene Behind

Jackie tearfully met with Al Carter and told him she would make a go of it with Doug, telling him she was moving to Huntsville, Alabama. Doug had been accepted into the NASA Program as a Boeing employee, and it was the opportunity of a lifetime for him. He swore he wanted his family with him. Al asked Jackie if she was sure about staying in her marriage. She told him she was doing it for her youngest daughter. Jackie’s oldest daughter was entering her senior year of high school and wanted to stay and graduate with her friends. A family vacation was planned for the first drive to Alabama, but a return trip was necessary. Doug needed to be back in Seattle within six weeks to finalize training as a mechanic for NASA.

The two long, hot car trips in July 1964 were tense for different reasons. Jackie and Doug’s oldest daughter would not move to Alabama. Doug felt she should be forced to move, while Jackie felt her oldest daughter had the right to make the decision. The tension was further exacerbated by the simple fact that Jackie no longer wished to be married to Doug, and Doug no longer wished to be married to Jackie.

1964 Buick Stock Photo

The 4,386 miles they traveled together across the country from Coeur d’Alene to Alabama and back again were uncomfortable and tedious. The only upside was seeing the beauty of America’s landscape. It was often breathtaking as they traveled southward through the Rocky Mountain range, headed toward the southern states. The desert landscapes of New Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma were stark compared to those of the Northwest and the Rocky Mountains. Arkansas, Mississippi, and Alabama offered dramatically different landscapes, featuring expansive vistas of lush, green scenery. Doug wanted his daughters to see the country and experience some of its history on their three-week trip to Huntsville. They explored caverns in New Mexico, climbed a tower in Arkansas, observed girls in the Ozarks carrying water back to their humble homes along the two-lane ribboned highway, and visited Civil War memorials and battle sites. Most of the trip was fascinating, majestic, and beautiful.

However, the lush beauty of the South’s landscape was diminished considerably by the prejudicial intolerance they witnessed firsthand traveling through Mississippi and Alabama. It was shocking and disheartening, especially for Jackie and the girls, to witness firsthand the hate, prejudice, and cruelty imposed on other human beings. Jackie, who loved everyone regardless of who they were or what they looked like, was shocked and appalled.